THOSE KIDS: If I Am The Face of My Classroom, Then You Are the Backbone

As Mental Health Awareness month comes to an end and there has been so much talk about what is being done and what isn’t being done and why shouldn’t more be done, I wanted to figure out exactly what I wanted to say.  First, I thought about do I think more could be done?  Yes.  Do I think more should be done?  Yes.  Do I know exactly what that should look like and how it would work?  No.  Would I be willing to work to be part of a solution?  Absolutely.  You see, I’m not an expert.  I don’t hold the highest degrees and I don’t have years of data and research to back up my feelings.  I am simply a person who found myself teaching some of the most troubled, traumatized, dysregulated, and struggling students.  I see mental illness and the impact of trauma and abuse every single day.  I teach THOSE KIDS. 

What makes me able to do this job and what has allowed me to be good at my job is that I’m not alone.  I am surrounded by great people.  People who are fighting the fight every day.  People who are working hard.  People who are doing a lot.  People who dedicate countless hours to bettering the mental health of kids in my school.  Kids who will eventually return to your schools.  So today what I want to say about mental health and mental illness is thank you.  I wanted to thank you to those individuals who work in this field every single day.  

Dear Mental Health Care Worker:

Two years ago I didn’t know you existed. I never really thought about you or your job.  But now I think about you every day.  I think about you every day because you are the reason I am able to do my job.  If I’m the face of my classroom, then you are absolutely the backbone. 

I’ve spent most of my years in education working with THOSE KIDS – the troubled, the traumatized, the strugglers…the tough kids.  I worked closely with administrators and teachers and school psychologists and social workers and paraprofessionals and so many other professionals.  I have seen these amazing people do amazing work.  I have learned and grown as a person and as an educator from all of those people.  But without a single doubt, right now it is you that is helping me become a better version of myself and better teacher for OUR KIDS.

You are my support system.  Every single day.  I know every single day you will be in my classroom ready to help at a moment’s notice.  I know that most days you will see the behaviors coming before I do.  You will see the signs and warnings and sense when things just aren’t right.  You are there to talk students down and take students on breaks and reintegrate them into the classroom all the while I get to continue doing my job.  I get to teach.  

When chaos breaks out and when dysregulation is at its highest I see you run towards the student.  Every time.  You immediately jump forward when human nature would tell you to step back.  I see THOSE KIDS lash out at you physically and verbally, sometimes with intense emotions and sometimes with aggression.  You still run to them.  You protect them and you provide them safety.  You use everything you have to bring calm to a storm that is out of control.  I’ve seen you sing.  I’ve seen you tell jokes.  I’ve seen you give hugs.  I’ve seen you give encouragement.  I’ve seen you rub shoulders.  I’ve seen you listen. I’ve seen you give advice.  I’ve seen that you don’t give up.  You don’t give up.  Every single day you show up and you don’t give up. Your patience and perseverance are daily lessons for me.

You are good at what you do.  I watch you more than you know.  I listen to you.  I learn from you.  I hear what you do and see what you do and I take those skills and make them my own.  When I don’t understand a student you are the first person I turn to.  You are the one who knows their days and their routines and their triggers and their good moments and their bad moments.  You know their family history and their peer relationships and how their weekend was and how their morning was – I never forget how fortunate I am to have your knowledge at my fingertips.  

We collaborate.  I wasn’t sure how I would feel having multiple adults in my classroom all day, but now I feel like we’re part of team.  We work together – kind of like a tag-team wrestling duo!  I run ideas and the “game plan” by you to gain your input on what I am doing.  I know I can turn to you when I feel battles need to be fought and when I need to take a hard stance with a student.  When you say I’ve got your back, I know you’ve got my back.  You’ve seen me at my best – when I have every single student engaged and on task.  You’ve also seen me at my worst – when nothing is working and I’m frazzled and I’m struggling to stay regulated myself.  You give me comfort and reassurance in those hard moments. When you come into my room because your day is hard and you need to vent or you need support or need advice, I hope I provide the safe place you need.  I hope you continue to know my door is always open.

And most of all, I thank you because you are just really good people.   I always say that I love my job because I found my people.  Others may not get it, but I know you do.  There’s just something a little unique – a little off – a little fun about us.  I laugh every single day.  I smile every single day.  Sometimes I don’t even have to speak but I just catch your eye and we crack up laughing.  There’s something really good about feeling like you’re in this together – good or bad!  That’s how I feel at least. Being around people that can be positive and can laugh and can have fun even in really tough situations – even in the most chaotic and crazy and often heart-breaking situations – is special.  Trust me on this as I’m older than most of you – it’s special.   It’s a gift I think our students get from you as well.  They learn to cope and accept and thrive in one of the hardest placements and situations they have found themselves in.  That is a powerful lesson.  They learn to laugh and smile and have fun and hope in spite of the negative place they came from.  That is also a very powerful lesson.   

The words mental health and mental illness are everywhere right now.  Trauma.  Tragedies. Troubled Youth.  Broken Families.  The System.  The Problems.  The Solutions.   They’ve all been in the news and on social media lately.  Actually, they seem to be everywhere.  All the time.  I know all of those things have a different meaning to you than a lot of people.  To you, they are not just concepts and theories and laws and regulations.  They are your every day.  They are real people.  Real Kids.  Real Smiles.  Real Tears.  Real Fears.  Real Hopes.  They are your day to day life.  They are my day to day life.

I thank you because I have become better teacher. I have learned that pride has no place in my classroom – the best thing I can do for my students is be willing to ask for help from someone who may understand them better than I do.  Sometimes I will need to lead but sometimes I will need to follow.  I have learned that every single person who comes into my classroom has something to teach me.  I have learned that I am capable.  That I do have the patience and the skills to help our students learn and succeed and thrive.  I have also learned that this a big job.  These are complicated kids.  They are not easy.  I have learned I need my team.  I need my people.  These kids need all of us.  So I thank you for the work you do for THOSE KIDS – for OUR KIDS because I know without a doubt they too feel your patience and perseverance and kindness and respect and humor and hope.  They are also so much better because of you.

                                                                                                         Sincerely,

                                                                                                         A Very Grateful Teacher

THOSE KIDS Series:

THOSE KIDS

To THAT Student…I’m Sorry I Wasn’t Better

THOSE KIDS: The One Who Changed Everything

Voice of THOSE KIDS Series:

The Voices of THOSE KIDS: I’d Rather Be Not Liked for Being Mean Than Not Liked for Being Me

The Voices of THOSE KIDS: Please Don’t Focus on My Story. Focus on Me.